


An Unwritten Law of the Universe

by pippinmctaggart



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-05-06
Updated: 2004-05-06
Packaged: 2018-03-30 21:40:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3952741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pippinmctaggart/pseuds/pippinmctaggart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Billy, Elijah & Dom  make a bet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Unwritten Law of the Universe

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [](http://1420.livejournal.com/profile)[**1420**](http://1420.livejournal.com/) for the beta, as always.

 

"Elijah?"

"Hey, Billy."

"What are you wearing?"

"What? What is this, Bill, a dirty phone call?"

Billy paused. "…I admit, I could have begun that with a little more dignity. However, the question still remains."

"Why do you want to know what I'm wearing?"

"That depends. Do you _want_ this to be a dirty phone call, Elijah?" he asked with a smile and a raised eyebrow, even though he knew only one of those could be heard.

"I'm not sure how to answer that."

"Seems simple enough to me. Yes or no?"

"Uhh…I think I'll stick with no."

"I find myself oddly disappointed," he said lightly. "Dom and I have a bet. He says you're wearing the stupidest t-shirt right now, and I say he is. So I want to know what you're wearing."

"How the fuck does Dom know what I'm wearing?"

"Don't sound so nervous, lad. He seems to think it's an unwritten law of the universe, that your t-shirt will just naturally be stupider."

"Billy?"

"Yes, Elijah?"

"Two things. One, stupider isn't a proper word."

"I know. I'm quoting Dom."

"Then tell Dom it's not a proper word."

"All right. And two?"

"And two, don't call me lad. You're not my father, and you're not my older brother. And you can't tell me you're disappointed it's not an obscene phone call and then turn around and call me _lad_."

"Hmm. That may be a valid point," Billy conceded, a little disconcerted by the tone of Elijah's voice. "Fair enough."

"Thank you. What's the stakes on the bet?"

"Who buys down the pub tonight. So don't let me down, 'Lij."

"Well, who's going to decide? None of the three of us can, or it's not fair. And what's in it for me?"

"What's in it for you? My, aren't you assertive tonight? All right, Elijah, hold on…" He covered the phone with his fingers, turning to talk to Dom. Uncovered it again a moment later. "Yeah, okay. All right, Dom, shut it! Elijah, do you want in on the bet? Loser buys for the other two?"

"Yeah, you're on. My t-shirt will so kick Dom's ass."

"Funny, he just said the same thing about you."

"What does his say?"

"Nope. Meet us down the pub at ten. We'll have the waitress pick."

 

 

 

Billy watched Elijah walk in. It was too dark to make out what his shirt read at that distance, so he settled for watching flashing white arms, jean-clad thighs, shoulders thrown back. Confidence and vitality. And youth.

And then his eyes tracked to the words emblazoned across Elijah's chest. He groaned and dropped his head to the table top.

"What?" Dom swiveled around, saw Elijah. He read the t-shirt and started laughing. "I'll start with a rum and Coke, please, Bills."

Elijah obviously overheard the last part. Billy raised his head in time to see Elijah grin and say, "I wasn't aware you were the waitress, Dom. Moonlighting, are we?"

"No need for extra cash, 'Lij. I won't be buying the drinks tonight."

"So sure, are you? Let's see."

Dom uncrossed his arms as he settled back and let Elijah read the four words.

Elijah's eyes narrowed. "What does that even mean?"

"It means exactly what it says it means."

"That's stupid."

Billy interrupted before things could get heated. "All right, boys, that's enough."

They both rounded on him with an air of injured disgust. Silmultaneously (and witheringly) said, "Shut up, Billy."

Billy raised his hands in surrender, and pulled his feet in as Elijah sat across the table, sliding in beside Dom who immediately dropped an arm over his shoulders and a kiss on his temple.

"What's new, Doodle?"

"Call me that once more, Dominic, and I start calling you Minnie. I swear to God I will. How'd your reshoots go?"

"Excellent, as a matter of fact. And I did my John impression for Miranda--got her to snort water out of her nose."

Elijah grinned. "Nicely done."

"I was trying to get her to piss herself, so I'm a little disappointed, actually. Ah well," he shrugged philosophically.

Their waitress for the evening--Roxanne, as it turned out (with unfortunate musical consequences later, thanks to a sincerely hammered Dom)--arrived at that moment to take their drinks order.

Billy sat up. "Would you be willing to help us with something, love?" He widened his eyes slightly, knowing from experience it charmed women to no end. It never failed to piss Dom off, either, which was an added bonus. He always complained that it wasn't fair for Billy to use his eyes like that, pulling the cute ones when he had no interest whatsoever because they never gave Dom a second look afterward. Billy had his doubts about that, but he kept them to himself.

Dom glowered at him from across the table.

Roxanne smiled at Billy. "Well that all depends now, doesn't it?"

"On what?" Billy leaned his chin on one palm.

Dom snorted.

"On what you had in mind." She tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.

"Oh, it's perfectly innocent, I promise," he smiled sweetly.

Dom kicked him under the table.

There was the faintest hint of pink high on her cheekbones as Roxanne said, "Pity. What can I do for you?"

"My mates and I--" Billy nodded his head toward the other two, "--have a wee bet going, and we need someone to decide on a winner."

She finally glanced at Dom and Elijah, looking almost surprised to find two handsome young men sitting there. Elijah waggled his fingers at her, a cheeky grin on his face, but Dom just gave her a weak smile. Billy nearly laughed out loud.

"I suppose I could manage that," she agreed, eyes back on Billy. "What am I deciding?"

"Which of those two has the more stupid--" a lightning glance at Elijah, whose lips twitched in response, "--saying on their t-shirt." He grinned as the t-shirts in question were smoothed out. As if that would show them to better advantage.

Roxanne reluctantly tore her eyes from their short track between Billy's eyes and his lips. She looked over again, then leaned over to rest her hands on the table, palms facing away from her and fingers curled around the end of the formica top. "Well, let's see." She read Dom's first. "'I'm huge in Japan.' Well…it's not very funny. But it's not that stupid, either."

Dom grinned in triumph.

She shifted her eyes to Elijah's chest, his shoulders pressed back to allow for easier reading. "'Computer programmers don't byte, they nibble a bit.'" She frowned. "But bite is spelled wrong. And I don't get it, why would they nibble?" Then her brow cleared. "Ohh, I see! That's why it's stupid--it's spelled wrong!" She faltered. "I still don't get it, though."

Elijah looked stunned.

"So…yeah. I guess this one is the stupidest." She gestured to Elijah. "Sorry."

Billy took several careful breaths through his nose. It would be awfully rude to burst out laughing right at that moment. When he could trust his voice again, he said, "Thanks, love, you've been a great help. So, Dom, you're the big winner. What'll you have?"

Dom's acting skills really impressed Billy sometimes. He innocently 'hmm'ed and 'erm'ed over his drink choice, apologized to Elijah with every appearance of regret, and shyly complimented Roxanne on her lovely hair.

Roxanne blushed, and Billy noticed with amusement that her eyes didn't return to him quite so quickly that time.

Elijah still looked stunned.

"I think I'll start with a rum and Coke," Dom finally announced. "Actually, make it two, darlin', one from each of them."

Billy asked a pink-tinged Roxanne for a pint of lager, and when he kicked Elijah to get his attention, Elijah requested a vodka. Straight up.

Roxanne promised to be right back with their drinks, and left.

"What the hell just happened?" Elijah asked plaintively.

Billy leaned his head against the wood back of the booth and laughed until Dom handed him a napkin to dry his eyes.

 

 

 

"'S not right," Elijah mumbled.

Billy leaned forward to hear him better. "What isn't?"

"She didn't even understand it. We should have asked someone else."

Billy grinned. "You know you wouldn't have wanted to risk hurting her feelings, 'Lijah. Besides, it wouldn't have made a difference," he said kindly, his eyes twinkling.

"Would too've. 'Huge in Japan'. 'S stupid."

Dom came weaving back to the table from the dance floor.

Billy looked up at him, at his red eyes, mussed up hair, and bemused expression, and laughed. He slid over to make room, and Dom collapsed beside him, all arms and legs and sweatiness.

"Perhaps, 'Lij," Billy said dryly, "one has to _know_ Dom to truly appreciate just how stupid it is."

"Not stupid," Dom shook his head exaggeratedly, then listed to the side. "They loved me in Japan. Fucking adored me, they did."

"If you say so, Dom," Billy soothed, pushing him upright again.

 

 

 

"So, fancy yourself a computer programmer, then, 'Lijah?" Billy asked casually as he propped Elijah against the wall while unlocking the door.

"Sure. Amateur, anyway." Elijah swiveled his head to press his cheek against the stuccoed wall, sighting along the endless pebbly bumps.

Billy leaned down a bit, trying to fit the key in the lock in dim light. He was in no way drunk--certainly not snockered like Dom, anyway, who'd been dropped off first by virtue of his being least capable. Billy just hoped Dom'd make it as far as his bedroom before falling over.

But Billy _was_ a little buzzed, and it took two tries to get the key in and the lock disengaged and the door open. When he straightened up again, he froze as two arms snaked around his chest and a hot wet tongue and sharp little teeth did erotic things to the back of his neck.

"'Lijah," he said carefully. "What are you doing?"

"I'm doing what programmers do," he answered huskily. "I'm nibbling a bit."

Billy's pants grew tight. He gently pulled Elijah's hands off his chest, twitching as a finger brushed one of his nipples through the cotton of his shirt. "You're drunk," he said quietly and stepped away.

"A little. But I still know what I'm doing."

Billy turned to look at him, and his breath caught at the sight of hooded eyes moving toward him, glinting in the weak light of the porch bulb.

"Goodnight, 'Lijah," Billy said softly.

Elijah stopped. "Would it have made any difference if I'd said yes to the dirty phone call this afternoon?"

"Tonight, no. I don't make important decisions when I've been drinking. And I try not to let my friends do so, either."

"Friends?" He stepped closer.

Billy gave him a quick hug, pulling away again before Elijah could entangle himself in Billy's arms. "Goodnight, 'Lijah."

A pause. "Goodnight, Billy."

 

 

 

"Hello?"

"Hey, 'Lij."

"Hey, Billy. It's late--is everything all right?"

"Yeah, fine, fine. I didn't wake you, did I?"

"No, not at all. What's up?"

"Nothing." Billy paused. "How was the Emyn Muil?"

"Great, actually. We shot the Elven rope scene, I think it's going to be a nice bit."

"Good, good. That's…good." He stopped.

Elijah quietly asked, "What's going on, Bill?"

"Nothing. What's next on the schedule?"

"Billy."

"Did you mean it the other night?" Billy asked suddenly, intently, his voice low. "What you did?"

"On my porch?"

"Yes. Did you mean it, Elijah?"

"Yeah, Billy, I did."

"Oh."

"And I'll mean it the next time I do it, too," Elijah said quietly. "I still remember what you taste like."

" _Oh_." Billy's gut clenched.

"Goodnight, Billy." Elijah was smiling.

Billy swallowed hard, his mouth dry. "…'Night, 'Lijah."

 

 

 

"Hello?"

"Hi, Billy!"

"Hey, 'Lij. How are you?"

"Awesome. Dom and I are going out tonight--wanna come?"

Billy hesitated.

"Aw, come on, Billy, you know you want to. Besides, I have to try and redeem my t-shirt collection. I'm _so_ going to win this time."

"That's what you said last time," Billy smiled.

"Yeah, but I could hardly know she wouldn't _get_ it, could I?" he protested. "I mean, come on--"

Billy couldn't help but laugh. "All right, no need to go into it again. 'You were robbed', I know."

"I was _totally_ robbed."

"And is tonight's shirt a little clearer? No chance of another misunderstanding?"

"No chance." Elijah's voice went oddly silky. "It's crystal clear."

Billy was a little taken aback by the change in tone, but decided to leave it. "All right, then. I've seen most of Dom's tees, and I have to say, the odds are in your favour. We're on."

"So you're saying Dom's will be more stupid than mine?"

"Yes, I am. But so help me, 'Lij, if Dom wins again he's going to be insufferable. And I'll hold _you_ accountable," Billy threatened, mostly joking.

Elijah suddenly laughed again. "No worries, pal. No worries."

 

 

 

Billy was a bit late arriving, having been held up on the phone. He found Dom and Elijah in the same booth as last time, sitting across from each other, still wearing their jackets. And practically glaring.

As he strolled up, he casually said, "You two are taking this far too seriously, you know that don't you?"

Dom held up two fingers as Elijah flipped him the bird.

Billy just grinned. He spotted Roxanne approaching, so he stayed on his feet. Giving her his best smile, he said, "Hullo, Roxanne! It must be your lucky day, we're back."

"Hi guys!" she said, smiling brightly at Billy. But her eyes quickly shifted. "Hi, Dom."

Billy and Elijah looked at each other, eyebrows raised, and Billy mouthed, " _Dom_?"

Dom ignored them. "Hey, darlin'."

"What can I get you tonight?"

Billy opened his mouth to speak, but Dom overrode him.

"Well, Roxie--"

Elijah and Billy shared another incredulous glance, and this time it was Elijah who mouthed, " _Roxie??_ "

Dom shifted in his seat, pretending he hadn't seen the exchange. "It's round two of the bet. The kid here--" Elijah kicked him under the table, "--ow, cut it out, you wanker--thinks he's got the t-shirt to beat me today. Want to pick a winner again?" He winked at her, flirting shamelessly.

Elijah looked like he was about to object, obviously fearing favouritism, but Billy caught his eye with a discreet motion, gave him a miniscule shake of the head. He had been watching Roxanne when Dom made the suggestion, and he had spotted the flush of embarrassment on her neck, the slight tension that entered her shoulders at the thought of automatically choosing Dom. A true streak of honesty, apparently.

"Go on, then, love," he smiled encouragingly.

She made a little face, then softened. "All right. Let's see them, then. Yours first, Dom."

Dom undid the zip on his jacket, shrugging out of it with a grin. He tugged at the hem of his shirt, straightening it out. Roxanne leaned on the table as she had last time and read it.

"'Girl Scouts Gone Wild'."

Dom wiggled his eyebrows. "You know it, darlin'."

She giggled, but looked uncertain. "But you're not--" She stopped, seemingly aware that she probably shouldn't complete that. She turned towards Elijah. "How about yours?"

Billy was surprised when Elijah locked eyes with him, rather than looking at Roxanne, as he undid his jacket.

"'Will work for food…" Roxanne read, "…Will beg for sex.'"

Billy froze up, completely helpless as to whether he should laugh, or blush, or jump Elijah right there.

Roxanne straightened up and smiled. Billy automatically smoothed his expression to one of simple curiousity, but he knew Elijah had seen the conflicting emotions of a moment ago. He looked at Roxanne as she laughed, and he thought it looked like relief on her face, relief that she had an answer she could give without trodding on any possibilities--or truths. "Well, this is an easy one."

Dom looked uncertain.

"Poor Dom," she teased. "Don't you know begging for sex beats Girl Scouts any day?" She winked and walked away, saying she'd be back in a moment for their order.

Dom stared after her. "Well fuck me."

Elijah was grinning. "I think that was her idea, yeah."

Dom looked at him. Looked at Billy. His eyes widened, and he smothered a grin as he scrambled out of the booth. "I'll--I'll be back in a minute." He quickly walked in the direction of the bar.

Billy sat down on the empty bench, trying and failing to meet Elijah's intently focused eyes. Trying to avoid the grin that had softened to a warm smile. "So, it looks like we won," he said lamely. "What are you going to order?"

"Coke."

"Coke and what?"

Elijah shook his head. "Just Coke."

"But--" Billy was surprised. "Dom drank the fucking bar dry last time. Surely you want some of that back."

"Nope. I'm not drinking tonight."

Billy opened his mouth. Then closed it again, and stared, trying to read the message behind those blue, blue eyes.

Dom came bounding over before Billy could form any sort of a response. "I'm off, kids. Roxie's shift is over." He grinned, leaning across Billy to grab his jacket. "I'll buy next time, all right? Promise I'm not welching." Unperturbed by the lack of response or by the tension at the table, Dom said, "Don't do anything I'm not about to do."

Elijah looked up at him, startled, and a still-slightly-stunned Billy looked up too.

Dom gave them a cheeky grin and left, pulling on his jacket as he went.

Before Billy could pull his wits together, the new waitress arrived and asked what they wanted to drink.

Elijah, true to his word, ordered Coke.

Billy couldn't do it. He needed more time to think, to weigh the options, to fully realize the potential consequences. It was just too much pressure on one bloody drinks order! "Nothing for me, thanks," he croaked. Before Elijah could find in that an answer he wasn't yet giving, Billy slid out from under the table. Not meeting those narrowed eyes, he quickly said, "I'm going to head out. I'll talk to you tomorrow, yeah?" He turned to go.

"Billy--"

"'Night, 'Lij." He hurried away.

" _Billy_ \--"

Billy left.

 

 

 

He was awoken by a loud pounding on his door. He rolled his head, squinted at the clock, cursed when he saw 3:17 a.m. It had taken him forever to get to sleep, and now here was Dom, probably drunk and recently laid, needing a place to crash because he'd locked himself out of his house again.

Billy stumbled out of bed, shuffled to the front door. "Shut the fuck up, I'm coming!" he shouted as he turned the deadbolt. He flung open the door. "Dom, you sodding wanker--"

But it wasn't Dom.

"Elijah," he said blankly, still sleep-befuddled.

Elijah shoved his way in, pushing Billy back, closing the door behind him. He gripped Billy's shoulders with short, blunt-tipped fingers, and kissed him hard on the mouth, his tongue forcing a surprised Billy's lips open. He swept through Billy's mouth, making a little noise of what felt to Billy suspiciously like relief. He pulled back.

"Elijah," Billy asked, pained, "What the fuck are you doing?"

Elijah looked at him keenly, his gaze flicking back and forth between Billy's eyes, as if he expected to see something different in each one. "Checking to make sure you haven't been drinking. Proving to you _I_ haven't been. Why the hell did you walk out?"

"'Lij, it's three-thirty in the morning."

"I went home. I tried to sleep. I couldn't. So I came here to ask you why the hell you walked out."

"Because I wanted a Scotch," Billy muttered, looking at his mouth. "But I wanted to order a Coke."

Elijah stilled, his brain quickly grasping Billy's meaning. "Why didn't you say so?"

Billy closed his eyes, shook his head. "It was too--it's been…fast."

Elijah stepped closer. Moved his hands up to Billy's face, and gently leaned in to kiss him again, this time softly and sweetly and a little breathlessly. "There. That's not too fast, is it?"

Billy opened his eyes again, leaned his head into Elijah's hand. "No. But… 'Lijah--are you _sure_ about this? I don't--what will you do in a week or two if you want someone younger?"

Elijah smiled, stroked Billy's cheek with his nail-bitten thumb. "Billy. Bill. In some ways, you're younger than _I_ am."

Billy stared at him for a long time, and finally found enough of an answer in those eyes. He closed the space between them in a heartbeat, pushing Elijah against the wall with his body, pressing against him from chest to knee. Covering Elijah's mouth with his own, Billy kissed him hard, his tongue delving and twining and urging, as Elijah's arms curved up around his neck. He felt Elijah's erection hard against his hip, and moaned into his hot wet mouth.

Elijah suddenly dropped his hands to Billy's chest and pushed him back, not breaking the kiss for a moment as he forced him up against the opposite wall. Finally slid his lips down to Billy's jaw, then his throat, as he ground his pelvis into Billy's. "Remember what my t-shirt said, Bill?" he murmured against Billy's skin, his young voice deeper than usual.

Head back against the wall, eyes closed, Billy couldn't answer.

"It said I'll beg for sex." Elijah dropped to his knees, started opening the fly on Billy's jeans with his fingers. "Are you going to make me beg?"

Billy lifted his head. Looked down with dark eyes at the light ones raised to his. "No. But what else did it say?"

Elijah frowned slightly, but with a little smile on his lips. "Will work for food?"

Billy licked his lips. Fisted his hands in Elijah's jacket and hauled him back to his feet to kiss him again, his stubble scraping Elijah's smooth cheek. Pulled back to raggedly say, "Time to earn your breakfast."

 


End file.
